The Scene
Picture it: a breezy UAE evening. The desert wind is calm… but not for long.
Dubai, wearing sunglasses at night, is polishing Burj Khalifa like it’s a sword. Abu Dhabi, sitting on a gold-plated throne, casually sips gahwa and scrolls through Formula 1 memes.
Dubai smirks.
Dubai: “You might have Yas Marina Circuit, but who’s got a building tall enough to poke the clouds?”
Abu Dhabi rolls his eyes.
Abu Dhabi: “Congratulations on your giant toothpick. While you’re busy chasing tourists with malls, I’m hosting world leaders and racing Ferraris.”
The “Battle” Begins
Suddenly, Sharjah plays referee, waving an art exhibit flyer like a white flag. Fujairah sets up a beach umbrella, selling popcorn. Ajman and Umm Al Quwain place bets in dirhams under a palm tree.
Dubai unveils its “weapon”: a dancing fountain show synchronized to K-pop.
Abu Dhabi counters: a parade of falcons carrying tiny Formula 1 cars.
The falcons swoop over the fountain, accidentally creating the world’s first desert water-falcon light show. Ras Al Khaimah laughs so hard from Jebel Jais he nearly starts an avalanche.

The Twist
Just as things escalate, Umm Al Quwain clears his throat:
Umm Al Quwain: “You two do realize you’re fighting on my sand dune?”
The entire desert falls silent. A date tray falls over in slow motion. Dubai and Abu Dhabi glance at each other, then burst into laughter. They high-five, turn the fight into a group barbecue, and invite the other emirates.
Closing Punchline
By midnight, the “battlefield” is covered with lanterns, grilled fish from Ajman, and selfies. Dubai brags about the best skyline filter, while Abu Dhabi insists his palace has better lighting. The falcons? They’re dancing in the fountain.
In the UAE, even a fight between siblings ends in a feast—and probably a TikTok trend.