Told from the perspective of the younger one
When I first met her, I thought she was lost.
Like, she looked cool, sure—confident, all business, carrying a laptop bag like it held the secrets to the universe. But she also squinted at the café menu like she was trying to decode the Rosetta Stone.
I offered help.
She said,
“Oh, you’re a sweet pea. I’ll have a mochaccino. Extra whip. And don’t skimp.”
I blinked.
Sweet pea?
Anyway, we got talking. Her name was Aaliya. Ten years older. Corporate boss lady. Dressed like Pinterest board perfection. I was 22, graphic tee, sneakers, and a dream to become a DJ who freelances in graphic design… or something like that.
First Sign of the Age Gap: Language Barrier
While texting, I said:
“Yo this new track slaps so hard it gave me whiplash
.”
She replied:
“Are you okay?? Whiplash?? Should I call someone??”
And when she sent me a voice note saying,
“I had a whale of a time today!”
I had to Google if that meant something illegal.
At the Park
Me: “Let’s chill, grab a smoothie, and vibe out. Maybe people-watch?”
Her: “Oh! That sounds splendid. I haven’t loafed around since… 2006.”
Me: “Loafed around?”
Her: “Yes, just meandering about. Shooting the breeze.”
Me: “You’re talking like a Jane Austen character.”
Her: “And you’re talking like a malfunctioning iPhone.”
At My Place
She saw my PlayStation and said,
“Oh my God, is that a Nintendo?”
I nearly passed out.
Then I saw her DVD collection and said,
“You actually own physical movies?”
She replied,
“Yes. I don’t trust streaming. One day they’ll remove everything and you’ll be left watching TikToks about taxes.”
Honestly? She had a point. But I pretended to disagree on principle.
Dinner Disaster
At the fancy restaurant, I confidently said:
“This vibe is elite. High key loving the aesthetic.”
She looked terrified.
She whispered:
“What’s a ‘high key’? Is that… cannabis?”
I snorted water out of my nose.
Then she said:
“This crème brûlée is to die for. Reminds me of the one I had in Milan back in ‘07.”
I paused.
Me: “In 2007 I was… collecting Pokémon cards.”
Her: “In 2007 I was breaking up with my second fiancé.”
Me: “…I have so many follow-up questions.”
The Great Misunderstanding
She once sent me this:
“Can’t make it today. My colleague’s gone completely bonkers over this KPI nonsense. I’ve got meetings till kingdom come. SOS.”
I read it five times.
KPI? Kingdom come? SOS??
I replied:
“U good? You sound like you’re in a Cold War spy thriller.”
She replied:
“What even is ‘u good’? Say a full sentence, Gen Z man.”
But You Know What?
Despite the slang gap, the cultural confusion, and her obsession with making proper brunch reservations while I eat cereal from the box…
She listens to me.
And I love how she says “Oh heavens” every time she drops something.
And she loves when I explain memes to her like it’s a TED Talk.
We’re both trying. She’s teaching me patience, planning, and why real butter matters. I’m teaching her how to use Spotify without ending up on a Gregorian chant playlist.
Final Words:
I guess love is just two people mutually agreeing to never fully understand each other’s language…
But laughing really hard while trying.
Because whether you’re 22 or 32, some things are universal:
Eye rolls. Inside jokes. And burnt toast. 
Location: Corridor Z,...
Date: Unknown
From: “Echo-7”, diplomatic ghostwriter, formerly seconded to Strategic Harmonization Directorate (SHD)
To: The Unaligned Whisperers Network (UWN)
Letter Begins
I write not as a defector, nor a patriot.I...
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