It started with a group chat.
Somewhere in the multiverse, someone added everyone.
Avengers. Justice League. X-Men. Speedsters. Lanterns. Wizards. That one guy with arrows. Even the hero whose only power is “good vibes.”
And somehow… it turned into a debate about who’s actually the strongest.
Naturally, it escalated.
The Alliance Nobody Expected
Superman floated calmly above the battlefield.
Black Adam hovered beside him, arms crossed, looking like he’d already judged everyone and found them disappointing.
Superman said, “Let’s just keep this peaceful.”
Black Adam replied, “Peace is temporary. Power is eternal.”
Superman sighed. “I knew I should’ve teamed up with Batman.”
The Heroes Assemble™
Across the sky:
- A billionaire in a high-tech suit calculating angles.
- A thunder god dramatically over-lighting the scene.
- A guy with claws already angry for no reason.
- Three speedsters arguing about who arrived first.
- A telepath trying to read Black Adam’s mind and immediately regretting it.
And in the corner… someone yelling, “WAIT, WHAT ARE THE RULES?”
There are no rules.
This is superhero logic.
Round One: Chaos
The speedsters charge.
Superman sneezes.
Half of them are now in next week.
Black Adam claps once.
Thunder everywhere.
One archer whispers, “I knew I should’ve stayed home.”
Round Two: Strategy
The genius billionaire tries to activate “Contingency Plan #47.”
Superman just politely removes the satellite.
Black Adam looks at the thunder god and says, “Cute lightning.”
The thunder god pauses.
“That… was unnecessary.”
Emotional Damage Phase
A telepath tries emotional manipulation.
“Superman, what about your moral responsibility?”
Superman freezes for a second.
Black Adam leans over and says, “Ignore them. They recycle for validation.”
Superman nods. “Right.”
Back to business.
The Real Problem
After hours of dramatic poses, speeches, and excessive slow-motion landings…
Everyone is tired.
Capes are wrinkled.
Helmets are dented.
One speedster is still buffering.
Superman looks around.
Black Adam looks around.
They both realize something.
They aren’t fighting villains.
They’re fighting egos.
The Final Outcome
Superman raises his hand.
“Can we just agree we’re all overpowered?”
Black Adam adds, “And under-disciplined.”
Silence.
Then someone from the crowd yells, “Best of three?”
Black Adam almost restarts the war.
Superman just laughs.
And that’s how the greatest crossover battle in history ended.
Not with a punch.
But with mutual exhaustion.
Disclaimer
This is a fictional parody created purely for humor and entertainment purposes. All characters referenced belong to their respective creators and publishers. No powers, planets, capes, or egos were harmed in the writing of this story.
