The Diet That Started Tomorrow
“I’ll start my diet tomorrow” is the most successful long-term plan I have ever made. It has been running uninterrupted since 2018.
Tomorrow’s Schedule (Updated Daily)
- Morning: Healthy breakfast (postponed)
- Afternoon: Light lunch (also postponed)
- Evening: “One last cheat meal” (this has occurred 1,460 times)
- Night: Planning tomorrow’s diet while eating ice cream
The fridge has started leaving motivational notes: “You can do it… tomorrow.” My weighing scale has entered witness protection.
At this point the diet and I have a very modern relationship. We don’t live together, but we check in occasionally and pretend everything is fine.
